The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units
manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to the serious
defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units
code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of
the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has
been technically termed, "Sub-sequential Internal
Non-morality," or more commonly known as SIN, as it is
primarily expressed.
Some other symptoms:
[a] Loss of direction
[b] Foul vocal emissions
[c] Amnesia of origin
[d] Lack of peace and joy
[e] Selfish, or violent behavior
[f] Depression or confusion in the mental component
[g] Fearfulness
[h] Idolatry
[i] Rebellion
The Manufacturer, Who is neither liable nor at fault for
this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and
service free of charge to correct this SIN defect. The
Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to
bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these
repairs.
There is no additional fee required.
The toll free number to call for repair in all areas is:
P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of
SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download
ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart
component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, the
Jesus will replace it with:
[a] Love
[b] Joy
[c] Peace
[d] Patience
[e] Kindness
[f] Goodness
[g] Faithfulness
[h] Gentleness
[i] Self-control
Please see the operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further
details on the use of these fixes. As an added upgrade, the
manufacturer has made available to all repaired units a
facility enabling direct monitoring and assistance from a
resident Maintenance Technician, the HOLY SPIRIT.
Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take
up permanent residence on the premises!
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without
correction voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the
unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will
result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For
free emergency service, call on JESUS.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall
action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN
defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to
prevent contamination of that facility.
Thank you for your attention. Please assist where possible
by notifying others of this important recall notice.
