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The Despairing Soul

L.G.Kamnqa

It’s in the morning the summer sun is heating the white sands of the Cape, everything so bright and beautiful. The glimpse of the glittering green Azalia with colorful flowers covering the landscape.

Michael woke up early and make breakfast for him and his wife, as he always do before he go to work but Angelina was not working. When the breakfast was ready he shouted, “Angelina comes down here my love, the breakfast is ready but Angelina didn’t reply. After a few minuets Angelina coming downstairs with a lovely smile on her faces, wearing a pink light gossamer gown and she sat on the table in the kitchen and her husband kissed her on the chin.

“Good morning my love” and Angelina replied “good morning Michael” when they finished their breakfast, he kissed her goodbye as he was leaving for work. Michael did commercial studies when he passed his metric. His mother died when he was sixteen, he didn’t knew who his father was and he used to ask his mother and she would snarl at him not to ask her that again.

Michael couldn’t understand why he can’t ask her about his father but unfortunately for Michael his mother Juliana died before she told her son who his father was, then he was forced to live with his grandmother and she knew who was Michael’s father but she couldn’t tell that his mother was raped and that was how he came to being, by doing that she didn’t want to add salt into Michael’s wounds.

Six years later his grandmother died was the only elder in the house. His grandmother taught him everything that was significant for his survival in the future, by then he was the only child in the house. When his mother died he faced great ordeals, in his ruminations he was exposed to this cruel and monstrous world half-fledged, but the old lady showed the orbit of life.

He became strong, that he could face the world with confidence. When he got to University to do commercial studies, he managed to get a diploma. At the graduation ceremony he was very happy that he achieved such qualifications because his mother had left him with nothing on this land of great animosity and plight with happy tears flooding out of his eyes.

“Then it is true that when God close the door he open the window” he said and he recall his mother’s words, when his spirit was running low and she wanted to lift it up, she would say “don’t let your fears get in the way of your dreams because, the devil inside you can take advantage of such weakness can be very grating and ultimately persuade you to give up what’s yours and meant to be…

When he was at work his wife was alone in the sense that she was able to make decisions that can put her in turbid situations. It was midday when Angelina decided to go shopping in order to make his husband a very nice supper of the day. She took a taxi and got to town because the only car they have was used by his handsome husband who loves her very much. When he got there on her way to the shops she bumped into a sexy looking young fellow who offered to pick up her fallen purse and gave it to her as he apologize.

“I am sorry for that” he said. “No it was not your fault, anyway I’m Angelina” and you are “Mark” he said, “can I get you something to drink by any chance”. Angelina seems tempted.

“Yes! but I was heading for shops, where were you heading”? “I was coming from the bank, depositing some money for my sister”.

“So where is she”? he looked up side down and he said “she is in Joburg, living with her uncle.

“I should get going, it was nice meeting you Mark”. “You too Angelina and I would like to see you again”.

“I don’t think that is possible. On her way to the shops she was in a great haste and she look at the time, it was 15:30 in the afternoon.

She did her shopping very well and got home early enough to get the supper ready when his husband got home by 18:00. She looked at the clock in the kitchen and the time was 18:15 but her husband was no where close to the house, suddenly she hared something like the door was opening and she rushed to the front door but there was nobody there only a cat scratching it’s front legs and was the only pet on the house. The light in the house was very bright with the reflection of cream-white walls.

At dusk she hared him shouting her name with a soft voice as he always do “Angelina darling I’m home”. By the time he got in Angelina was a bit waried about her husband not showing up by the time he used to. I couldn’t bear the thought that maybe something had happened to you or you had an accident or you got hijacked on your way home but, I will forgive you if you promise you will call next time and let me know. Michael looked at her face with a smile on his face

“I promise, but I have a good reason for that you don’t want to hear it”. “Oh!Yes it better be”. “Ok ! here is what happened we have a new guy at work his name is Mark, but he is on probation for six months so I was asked to show him around but we didn’t finish today because I left my wife alone at home and we will finish tomorrow”.

“Did you say Mark” “Yes! why” Angelina stood up, her husband waiting for an answer “No it’s nothing” and Michael didn’t put his mind on that because he trusted her but Angelina had many questions in her mind but she couldn’t ask any of them because she thought that Michael can get suspicious about what she can ask about this new guy at work as Michael say but was thinking about one he met in town. The problem was that she couldn’t know if the one she is met. She got to the kitchen and prepares the supper, as it was getting cold, when it was ready served and ultimately forgot about Mark. After they finished eating Michael immediately got to bed as tired as he was and few minuets latter his wife followed.


Angelina was born in Stellembosch in the early 80’ѕ ,she grew up in a caring family with both parents before she got married to Michael, who met her at the party by then Michael was doing his last year of his Diploma. Then they fell in love there and then. Two years later they got married.

Michael woke up early as always got ready for work by that time his wife was awake but still in bed, few minuets later she got up and make breakfast for his husband that day. Angelina was always thinking about getting a job, tired of living in the house alone despite that she had a friend not very far from their house, sometimes she used to go there when she feel like talking. But she always had the thought that is very young for staying home doing nothing, whilst she was preparing breakfast house was thinking of telling Michael, came downstairs when he was ready to fix himself a breakfast but his wife had already done that for him. “Sit down and eat you are running out of time” and he did but he didn’t look very happy.

“Angelina you shouldn’t have done that”, with a smile. “What! making my husband a breakfast no I just wanted to get up I’m tired of always lying down in bed I need to get a job if that is fine with you”. Michael giggled a bit “No it’s fine if you think you can make it I have no problem with that, what made you to think about getting a job anyway ?. She looked at him twice before she answered”

“Nothing serious, think about this Michael to live in this world is very expensive these days then if we want to have a family we have to make more money than you income cannot carry us all with the children in future”. Michael stood up after he finished his breakfast and put his jacket on.

“I said its fine you can get a job, I have no problem with that. What I am saying is you should prepare yourself because you will have hard times in work places, the environment can be very bitter in the sense that you can be very rueful about your decision and I don’t want you to get hurt that’s all”, and he kissed her goodbye.

Few hours later Michael called and the phone was ringing but nobody picked it up.

“I wonder where is she didn’t tell me about going somewhere or maybe she had an interview but she didn’t say anything like that maybe I’m getting too anxious. I’d better call here later just to make sure she is not there. Two hours later he called again, the phone ringed but not for long and Angelina picked it up “Hallo--!”

“Yes it’s me my love”. “Oh it’s you Michael, I was wondering who that can be” .

“I called a few hours back but you were not there and I thought that you must have gone somewhere.

“No I was just around at the back watering some plants, are you alright because you sound very tired Michael are you still there”. “Oh yes I’m still here what were you saying”.

“No it’s not important you have a nice day, I’ll see you later. “You too my love”.

Two weeks later Angelina was in town to pay some bills and other things she need at home, when she saw Mark was coming towards her crossing through the robots and Mark had already saw her before she did. When he got closer he smiled with joy

“Hi Angelina” with a smile on her face and narrowing her gleaming eyes, she returned the greetings. “I thought I’ll never see your lovely face again”. Indeed Angelina was very beautiful and she couldn’t stop smiling from what she was hearing coming from Mark

“Well you did now”, “Oh yes I’m very glad for that, perhaps can I give you a lift home. That’s my car over there”. Angelina couldn’t refuse that offer.

“Ok if you promise you will not tell my husband about this

Mark did not grasp and he asked “why is that, I work with the man remember. I don’t understand why I can’t help his wife whilst is at work”

Angelina was greaming. “I don’t think he can take it that way”.

“Oh yes he can and he will believe me, so shall we-----!”

Angelina sighed “Alright let’s go”.

Mark glancing with his eyes lowered, “let me help you with those”, and he carried some of the bags with glossaries.

“You are very kind”. Angelina with a lovely smile. At 18:00

Michael was at home as usual, his wife with one thing on her mind “Michael I think we should start a family” and Michael seem to be surprised, where does that come from, suddenly you want to have babies”

Angelina shrilled “I am serious Michael, I think it’s time to bring them over and it’s boring to be in this house alone all day anyway, at list it will be better when there are kids running around”

“Ok, alright I’ll think about it”, Michael seemed unconvinced about this abruptly idea of his wife of having children. Thirty days gone, on Saturday. Michael is sitting on the sofa in the lounge sipping tea and his eyes glued on the television screen, suddenly he hered a sound like a stone rolling downstairs. He shouted “Angelina ----!, but she didn’t reply. He walked over to the room calmly when he was close to the passage at the end of the stairs he saw Angelina lying hopelessly on the floor, he rushed towards her. “Angelina-!”, he shooked her “Angelina----!”, please don’t leave me. “Oh! —oh! baby please come back to me. He started groaning when he saw that she was unconscious after she stopped convulsing tremendously and the blood was increasingly flowing on the floor. He immediately called for emergency and his body was shivering. After few minuets an ambulance arrived and they quickly took her to hospital. The doctor off the theatre after forty minuets and Michael walked towards him. “Doctor how is she, is she gonna be ok !”.

Dr Sing gasping with melancholy in his face. “No!

Mr. Connor unfortunately we lost her before the operation took place. Did you know that your wife was pregnant?”. Michael nodded his head. “Your wife had landed awkwardly and she have a severe crack on the skull. Michael thwarted himself from screeching, but eventually he did leaving the hospital his ruminours telling him one thing and one thing only, that his life is over without her. When he was on his way home, driving though the town he had nobody to comfort him.

He stopped the car nearby the liquor store to get himself a drink, instead of buying a soft drink he bought a hard one, a whisky of rawest kind to calm his nerves because he couldn’t bear the thought in his mind that his wife was gone, gone forever it was when he started using ether to wipe out the melancholy and erase the gyrating thoughts in his head. Since then for sixty-five days he had never been sober. Ultimately the man lost everything he strived for even his life. But there was something he didn’t knew that his wife committed adultery and all that was because the man didn’t have faith.

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