If the devil were to write his beatitudes, they would
probably go something like this:
1. Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too
distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow
Christians -- they are my best workers.
2. Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and
expect to be thanked -- I can use them.
3. Blessed are the touchy who stop going to church -- they
are my missionaries.
4. Blessed are the trouble makers -- they shall be called my
children.
5. Blessed are the complainers -- I'm all ears to them.
6. Blessed are those who are bored with the minister's
mannerisms and mistakes -- for they get nothing out of his
sermons.
7. Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to
his own church -- for he is a part of the problem instead of
the solution.
8. Blessed are those who gossip -- for they shall cause
strife and divisions that please me.
9. Blessed are those who are easily offended -- for they
will soon get angry and quit.
10. Blessed are those who do not give their offering to
carry on God's work -- for they are my helpers.
11. Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his
brother and sister -- for he shall be with me forever.
12. Blessed are you who, when you read this think it is
about other people and not yourself -- I've got you too!
