I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is
those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can't
afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener.
You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized
that people didn't like me anyway.
I was thinking about old age and decided that it is 'when
you still have something on the ball, but you are just too
tired to bounce it'.
I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age,
and call it "Pumping Rust."
I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when
your chest is falling into your drawers!
I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say,
"Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's
for company!"
Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be
notified in case of an emergency.' I think you should write,
"A Good Doctor!"
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do -- write to these men? Why don't
they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the
mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? Or
better yet, arrest them while they are taking their
pictures!
